Is it really technologies fault? There are some great technologies out there right now, things that bring a great deal to the table and that are capable of connecting us – in real life – in ways nobody ever thought possible. Yet we jump to blame our distractedness on our ever connected state, and by extension on the devices that allow us to inhabit this state. See that word back there…ALLOW, notice that I didn’t say force, or insist, or cajole. The technology allows us to be ever connected, but we decide to be. We can just as easily decide to disconnect.
Why not be not constantly available? If people know that you’ll return their phone call when you can, they’re more likely to leave a message, then leave you alone until you call back. It comes down to expectations, both yours and others. On your side, if you expect to get an instant notification of each and every email/text/tweet/FB status update/etc – you can. Nobody will think any less of you, unless you check them at the dinner table, in the coffee line, while staggering in front of me when I’m riding my bike, but I digress – And if your friends and family have come to expect instant reactions from you when they reach out, same answer.
Now, here’s the seemingly heretical idea – you can change those expectations. Shut off your pocket e-leash every once in a while. The first time will be the hardest, you may develop the shakes (where your thigh feels like your phone is vibrating against it, even though you left the phone itself at home). Take the dogs for a walk, and pay attention to the dogs. Notice the birds that scurry out of the way when they see you coming. See if you can find the woodpecker you keep hearing on that one corner. Say Hi to a neighbor. Then try leaving it home while you run errands one Saturday. Not the whole day, I’m all about starting with baby steps, hence starting with just a walk and working up from there. Eventually, aim for a full weekend. Call it a Digital Sabbatical and don’t open the computer either. You’ll be amazed how much more rested and ready to tackle the week you’ll be come Monday.
I know a guy who’s put an auto responder on his email that alerts people to the fact that he only checks it twice a day, when he gets to his desk around 9 am, and just before leaving the office at 5.30. His voicemail however says that he will respond ASAP if he happens to miss your call. He set his cell phone so it doesn’t accept text messages, he finds them impersonal. What does this guy do for a living? COO of a tech company.
So, bottom line – No, I don’t think it’s the technologies fault. Technology is a tool that we each choose to use, or not to use, to our advantage. If you choose to carry a smart phone, it’s up to you to know when the appropriate times are to answer it’s notifications and when the best times are to just turn it off. Even the most persistant devices come with a power button, it’s up to each of us to learn how and when to use them.